So far the single hardest thing that I've faced is trying to explain to a couple of friends why I at least somewhat seriously considered whether quitting made sense. I realize that last sentence ends clunkily, but I intentionally thought about it like that, as a way of considering quitting without really considering it. Its hard for me to gauge how close I really came, though there is no denying that it was a possibility, even if not that likely. Now back in the US, it seems obvious that I would stay the entire year, yet at times it definitely was not a foregone conclusion.
At the time the thought of quitting seemed so tantalizing. I had gone to another country to do a job I had no experience in voluntarily and at the times when I was struggling the hardest, to just up and leave had an undeniable appeal. I never wrote about it at the time because I worried that even saying it out aloud would make it seem more realistic. Now it seems absurd. Life here in the US is clearly not perfect and I was doing what I wanted to do, something few people can say, given the economy and the vagaries of life.
I am extremely glad that I made it the entire year. Its hard to overstate how glad I am, though of course some of that is the inevitable justification for past actions. Still, things improved so much once August 1st came, that I would have missed out on so many of the best parts of the year. In May I had no reference point for how much of my struggles were culture shock and how much was being a new teacher. In August, I was more or less over my culture shock and while I was a better teacher, the teaching also seemed so much less intimidating because I had created a home for myself in the community.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Back to the US
Culture shock is a pretty straightforward concept, when someone moves to a different culture and has to adjust to the new culture. What I am more interested in seeing how it effects me is reverse culture shock, starting when I return to the US tomorrow. At first it seems strange that I would feel out of place in my own culture, especially considering I will be staying with my parents again in the same situation as when I left.
Still, many former WorldTeach volunteers say that the reverse culture shock is harder to deal with than the initial culture shock. That you have worked to become accustomed and build a home in a new country, and now you have to go back to a culture which seems familiar but in fact at least I will have not experienced for almost a year.
I will be home tomorrow night assuming my travel goes according to plan. Crazy.
Still, many former WorldTeach volunteers say that the reverse culture shock is harder to deal with than the initial culture shock. That you have worked to become accustomed and build a home in a new country, and now you have to go back to a culture which seems familiar but in fact at least I will have not experienced for almost a year.
I will be home tomorrow night assuming my travel goes according to plan. Crazy.
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